UNCHAINED: Becoming A Man In L.A.

Whirlwind adventure with two bikes and one rock band.

Coffee break in Paso Robles, CA, the midway point between Los Angeles and home. March 2015. Image: Gary J Boulanger

This article was originally published in the July 2015 issue of CityBike.

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I earned my paycheck from the bicycle industry from January 25, 1991 to July 3, 2015. It started with running a Schwinn shop in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and ended with leading the editorial team at Bicycle Times magazine. Eight years after the Schwinn shop gig I was working for Huffy in Dayton, Ohio, and got my first itch for a motorcycle.

Like any respectable person, I asked ‘What Would Maynard Do?’ and contacted my pal Hershon, who was living out west. I had my heart set on a vintage Norton or Triumph, but he eloquently convinced me to consider a mid Seventies BMW airhead. I found a 1975 R 90/6 in CycleTrader nearby for $2,400, and drove it for eight years before various circumstances prompted me to sell it to a gent from Oakland on the eve of the 2008 financial crunch (for $2,600, I might add).

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The throttle bug bit me again in late December 2013, and I picked up a 2004 Moto Guzzi California Stone for $3,400 off Craigslist in San Francisco, about 40 miles north of our house in Mountain View. I knew of CityBike because of Maynard’s longtime contributor status, but hadn’t read a copy in years. My boss mentioned a fella named Gabe Ets-Hokin, who I emailed in September 2014 about possibly writing a column for Bicycle Times, the magazine I edit. We spoke a few times, and finally met at Alice’s Restaurant for lunch in late January.

Recently, Gabe texted to ask if I was interested in driving the `15 Harley-Davidson Ultra Limited (featured on the April cover) down to the Harley Fleet Center in Carson, then driving a new Triumph Tiger 800 XcX back to Oakland for Editor Surj. I said yes without hesitation, despite never having ridden to Los Angeles and back, let alone ridden a Harley. I was confident saying yes because my Goose is a fairly big cruiser, and I’ve driven it 8,000 miles all over the Bay Area.

I drove it home from Editor Surj’s place on March 28, and took my lady friend Jean on 280 to Cañada Road and back, followed by a nice jaunt up Hwy 9 to Skyline and down Hwy 84 the next day. The Ultra was duly broken in and ready for my maiden voyage to L.A. Before the sun rose on March 30, I fired up the hog and pointed it toward Pacheco Pass and the long haul on I-5.

Six hours and 367 miles later I pulled into the Harley Fleet Center, called my co-worker Steve who lives in Orange, and headed for Hollywood Boulevard for some well-earned sushi and a few hours of standing in line to see Van Halen play seven songs on the Jimmy Kimmel show.

I’ve been a Van Halen fan since their debut album in 1978, but never saw them live. The prospect of seeing Diamond David Lee Roth and Eddie on the same stage heightened my enthusiasm for landing in L.A. The band from Pasadena didn’t disappoint, launching with “Panama”, and including my all-time fave “Unchained”, which is my iPhone’s ringtone. Hollywood Blvd. was packed, VH rocked, and I discovered how unfunny Jimmy Kimmel is as we watched the live taping of the show from the huge monitors prior to the concert.

My plan was to stay at Steve’s place in Orange, which is a mere eight miles from Mickey Cohen Motorsports where the Triumph was waiting the following morning at 9 a.m. Although we had a late dinner at El Chavo on Sunset, we still made time to watch Rossi slay the MotoGP field at Qatar before calling it a night in Orange, with Steve’s Ducati Monster parked outside my bedroom like a sentinel.

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After getting the chef’s tour of downtown Orange (where Tom Hanks filmed “That Thing You Do!” with Liv Tyler and Steve Zahn), we landed at Mickey’s shop off Miraloma Avenue in Placentia. Mickey —not the professional boxer turned mobster, but the 1998 AMA Tuner of the Year for his efforts making a Triumph T595 Triple haul ass for AMA Pro Thunder winner Curtis Adams—now handles press vehicles for Triumph, and was very cordial and helpful when I waited for one of his employees to show up on the Tiger XcX. Paperwork signed and dated, and I was off to visit my brother and his young family in Echo Park. Social creature that I am, I spent an hour with my 3-year-old nephew (who I gave a copy of “The Mouse and the Motorcycle”) and 1-year-old niece before heading toward Ventura on 101.

Los Angeles traffic is awful, unless you happen to be behind the windshield of a Tiger. I was getting about 200 miles from a tank full of 91 octane, but the hellacious head and side winds along California State Route 1 and 101 dropped my fuel efficiency down considerably. I laid on the tank, ducking my head behind the tiny windshield for a little windy respite, and it worked to a degree. Due to my delayed departure from Placentia, I missed my opportunity to have a late lunch with world traveler and moto journalist Clement Salvadori in Atascadero, but we plan to meet at the Quail in mid May.

Sustaining on dried mangoes, mixed nuts and water, it was time to get some coffee and something baked by the time I hit Paso Robles. Amsterdam Coffee House is my place of choice, the mocha and orange scone taking care of my craving. I layered up under my Vanson perforated jacket, which served me well in hot, hot, hot L.A. earlier, but as many have experienced on 101, once that sun starts setting behind the ridge, temps drop considerably. Unfortunately the swirling winds did not, but with Mountain View in my sights and a determination to sleep in my own bed, I made it home by 8 p.m., visions of Eddie Van Halen shredding his EVH Wolfgang on Hollywood Blvd. still dancing in my head as I pried my chilly fingers off the Triumph’s grips in the comfort of my garage.

Mission accomplished: 800 miles, two bikes, two days, one big smile. I left Mountain View a boy, and returned from Los Angeles a man. Hey Surj! Consider me your go-to transporter again, okay?